But I am. An unashamed perfume tart...
Moiya is an old friend of mine who's very successful in the Beauty Industry. In fact, her Little Black Book could make a fortune on eBay. And she has been loyal to just one fragrance since its launch nearly two decades ago - Dolce and Gabanna Pour Femme.
I find the idea of complete loyalty to a signature scent both bewildering and astonishing. Or deep down, am I just jealous of such fidelity? With me it's Mitsouko one day, Quorum the next; a dash of Derby, a dousing of M7... I can't imagine removing that daily choice from my life.
On a recent day out with Moiya, we combined a trip to Titanic - The Artefacts Exhibition at the O2 with an impromptu interview. I wanted to press her on her decision to remain with just one scent for so long, especially when she works around so many fragrance options every day.
The Titanic exhibition is breathtaking. So many direct links to that most famous of tragedies. I could almost hear Celine Dion warbling in the background. When I asked Moiya to delve into her perfume past, she revealed that, like many, many women, her first scent experience was with Charlie: "I loved it. I must have been about thirteen, and could afford to buy it with my pocket money. I loved the advert, and the jingle. I wore it for years."
She couldn't recall the name of her next, 'transitional' scent, just that it came in a grey, ribbed bottle, but her first big designer fragrance was the original Armani Pour Femme. "I wore it for about six years. It was elegant, and sophisticated. Shame they discontinued it."
At the exhibition, you get the chance to smell samples of fragrance that were being taken to New York on that fated voyage. Perfumes that have spent nearly a century under the ocean. How amazing and moving is that? Actually consuming something that went down with the Titanic...
I continued to coax the Beauty Industry Insider for her own perfume heritage. "I discovered D&G Pour Femme in 1994 and it's been my fragrance ever since," she happily explained, peering at the Titanic's steering wheel. (Are they called steering wheels on ships? I should have read the board next to it but I was conjuring the smell of D&G Pour Femme in my mind.)
"I love the bottle - its classical simplicity appeals to me. I hate bells and whistles and things hanging off bottles. They put me off. I want something timeless and elegant. But I'm afraid I hate the velveteen box. It gets really dusty."
And how does she find the strength; the lasting power of her signature scent? "I do two squirts, no more. Even in the evening. Less is more. I've tried all the body preps but I don't really like them. I find that it makes the overall effect too strong and I hate strong fragrances - Giorgio makes me sneeze!"
But why does she love it so much? Why has she stayed so loyal for so long? "It's elegant, subtle and soft... And one of the main reasons that I love it is that every time I wear it, somebody notices. Kate Beckinsale only commented last week how lovely it smelt!" She dropped the name in a totally unassuming fashion. Naturally, I wished it had been Kate Winslet who had complimented her. That would have been far more fitting.
I came away with many a spine-tingling insight into the sad fate of the Titanic and a much greater understanding of why some people remain loyal to their chosen signature scents. If you find something that is so magical and perfect for you, why not stick with it?
No, loyal Moiya is most definitely not a perfume tart. But I'll always be one. Now, where did I leave that Bang sample...?
No, loyal Moiya is most definitely not a perfume tart. But I'll always be one. Now, where did I leave that Bang sample...?
[By PETER]
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